This has been a great day! We didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. We went out for breakfast, then to our favorite coffee shop to do some writing. I always say I’m going there to write, but the truth is I never do. The place is noisy and distracting, and I spend more time watching people (which I love to do) than writing. I think I just like to go there because it’s a different group of people than I am around all week. No one is dressed in a suite, there are no demanding schedules, and I am free to write or read whatever I want.
I spent most of my time today either reading tips on writing, reading other people’s writing, or thinking about why I wasn’t writing. I’ve heard that if you think about doing something every day, you were meant to do it. Well, I think about writing every day. I know I am a writer. I know I have several books inside me that are ready to come out. The question is why am I not writing them?
I think there are a couple of reasons why I don’t write. First is a fear of exposure. Letting go and allowing others to see me for who I really am has always been a challenge. If, or better said when, I publish I book, I know I will be on display. People that know me will read my biography and learn new things about me. Maybe family and friends will be offended or disagree with what I have written. It’s a fear that I have to get past.
The second reason is doubting my ability to write because I never finished a degree. This is huge for me. But the real truth is it only bothers me in my current work environment. I want to take some English and writing courses, but don’t have any desire to go back to school full time to work on a degree. I’ve accomplished much in my life without a degree. I’m an intelligent person, and don’t need a piece of paper to prove it. Yet I know this holds me back. This is the second fear I have to move past.
I came to some realizations today. I accepted to heart that I am a writer. I recognized that I keep my plate full so I don’t have time to write. And I identified some of my obstacles to writing. It’s a good first step. The next step is committing to writing something every day. And with this blog, I have written something day (and exposed something about myself).