The Four Agreements

I didn’t have a good week at the office; actually it was filled with stress and betrayal. Stress can be remedied fairly quickly with a hot bath and a glass of wine. I can’t find the delete button for the feelings of betrayal though. I guess that comes in time. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the details. But I will say, this betrayal came from someone I wanted to trust. I have been lied to, taken advantage of, and thrown under the bus so someone else could protect themselves. Today I feel like I was run over by that bus.

This betrayal happened the same week I have been reading “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz. I first read this book several years ago, but felt like Spirit was calling me to read it again. I now understand why. The four agreements are simple principles to find love, peace, and happiness in your life.

Agreement One: Be impeccable with your word. You should always speak with integrity, and mean what you say. Don’t use your words for rumors and lies. Use your words for truth and justice. This principle was not followed by others this week, but it was followed by me. I confronted the person that betrayed me, made it clear why and how they upset me, and let them know that they had lost my trust and respect. I received an apology, although I haven’t found the place inside me to accept it yet.

Agreement Two: Don’t take anything personally. What others do is not about you. What others do and say is from their own dream and reality. They say and do for themselves. Everything we do and say comes from a place inside ourselves, from agreements we have made with ourselves in the past. This principle held very true for me this week. Although I felt like I had been personally attacked, the reality is their actions and lies were only to cover their own mistakes. It wasn’t about me, although it did affect me. I was just the sacrifice.

Agreement Three: Don’t make assumptions. We should always ask questions and communicate what we want. Always communicate clearly. We can’t assume why anything happened or didn’t happened without knowing the facts. I did check the facts. I talked with others familiar with the situation, and proved to myself that I was not in the wrong. The person that betrayed me made the assumptions. They wrongly assumed I would not check their story.

Agreement Four: Always do your best. Your best can change moment to moment, but you should always do the right and best thing at any given time. Ultimately I did my best, but was betrayed anyway. Doing your best doesn’t always mean things will turn out right though. In my situation, knowing I did my best, I can take comfort in not having to question or doubt myself.

The Four Agreements sound simple, but are not always easy to follow. We get caught up in busy schedules, unrealistic deadlines, rude people, negativity from the media, and corrupt government officials, and forget that in all of these scenarios we are dealing with human beings. We forget that trust and respect of other people should always be the first rule, and business and politics are on the bottom of the list.

I was hurt and betrayed this week. But if all I take away from this is pain, it was all for nothing. I will try my best to follow the Four Agreements, and be mindful of their needs as I deal with human beings. And to help me find peace in my life, I would like to add a Fifth Agreement for my journey: Find God in everyone I meet and talk with.

May you find God in everyone you meet, and may they find God in you. Namaste.

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