As this year comes to an end, and the promise of a new and better year approaches, I find myself reflective on life. I don’t intend to make New Year’s Resolutions, as those usually just become empty goals with no real meaning, but I do intend to make some changes in my life, and have definite goals I intend to fulfill in the coming year.
Let’s start with the most obvious path to a better me: stop smoking. In this ignored resolution of new years past, I always blamed my failure to quit smoking on lack of will power, stress from work, stress from life, or because the wind was blowing from the north. But this year is different, because quitting smoking is not a resolution to be achieved on it’s own. Quit smoking is only one small step in creating a better me. In past years I haven’t been ready to quit, but there are several reasons why I am ready now.
First, it’s become simply a habit, and not something enjoyable. There used to be this great feeling of having that desperately needed cigarette. I don’t experience that anymore. I can’t think of one cigarette I’ve had in the past few weeks that I really enjoyed. The thrill is gone.
Second, I’ve come to realize lately how nasty cigarettes are. Maybe it’s the cold damp weather of late, but I can smell the smoke so much more than I used to. I can smell it in my clothes, on my skin, in my car. My car smells like an ashtray! Thank goodness we don’t smoke in the house. I can smell it strongly on my hands, which is driving me nuts. The past few weeks I’ve been washing my hands a lot, just to remove the smell. No doubt if I can smell it on my clothes and skin, then everyone I come in contact with can smell it too.
Third, it’s a hassle. It takes extra effort to smoke these days. I can’t leave the house without making sure I have my cigarettes and a way to light them, and a way to carry them. I can’t enjoy a nice meal or social gathering out without making sure I go some place where I can slip out and smoke. Of course that has become almost embarrassing in this day when smoking is taboo. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad smoking has become taboo. I commented to Greg recently that I wish smoking would be globally banned. Let’s make everyone stop smoking at one time, deal with a month of bad attitudes, and be done with it.
And fourth, and probably the most important, smoking doesn’t suit me anymore. It doesn’t fit the persona I’ve been working to create for myself. Although I may not be there yet, I enjoy seeing myself as an eclectic, artsy, spiritual soul. Can you be that person smelling like an cigarette all the time? Can I promote my belief in living a spiritual life, the healing energy of Spirit, the beauty of aromatherapy, the desire for a greener and more natural life, all while puffing on a cigarette? I think not.
So there you have it. These are the reasons that I will quit smoking this year. I haven’t set a ‘quit date’ yet. It could be tomorrow or a month from now, but I know it’s coming. The great thing is that quitting smoking this time is part of the natural order of things. Luckily I don’t have to be in the driver’s seat this time, I just have to let go of the fear, and allow things to happen as they should.
All as it should be….